she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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