I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
