Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
