Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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