You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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