the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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