Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
nutella sex= disaster
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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