It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
