Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
