I wish I only lived at night.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
