This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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