For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
