i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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