I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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