she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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