Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
