I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
