Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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