I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
