My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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