Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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