So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
