I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
