used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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