Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she peed on how many people?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
