dude i'm inner monologue high
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
