do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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