the day after is always just damage control
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Alive.
So much puke
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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