About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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