So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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