omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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