420 ftw
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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