We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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