My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
