Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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