We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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