if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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