Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
