Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
