I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
