Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Randomize
