Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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