why didn't you poke me back
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize