idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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