I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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