i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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