So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
