we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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