man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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