talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Im part way to drunk.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
