Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
