I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
