Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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