what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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