hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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