How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
