i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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