did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
