I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
