Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When are your genitals available?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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