When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
