I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize